In the winter of 2001, when I became pregnant at age 37, I wished for two things: That my baby would be healthy and that my parents could be involved in his daily life. Trouble was, my husband and I lived in Chicago; my mother and father were in the Philadelphia suburbs. As an only child, I've always enjoyed an emotionally close relationship with my parents--and I'd always regretted that I saw them just a few times a year since I went away to college in 1982. If ever there was a right time to go home, this was it.

Early in my pregnancy, I suggested to my husband, Aaron, that we move to Philadelphia, where his company has a satellite office. "It will be good for all of us," I predicted.

So Aaron negotiated a relocation, and three months after our son was born, we moved to a new house 15 minutes from my parents. Today, my mother watches Eric, now two, while I work--a wonderfully flexible arrangement, given my unpredictable hours as a writer and Aaron's hectic travel schedule as a director of sales. We enjoy dining with my parents on the weekends, going shopping, celebrating birthdays, and just being part of each other's lives on an informal basis. I was right: The move has been good for us.

Not everyone who wants to reconnect with family does it the way I did. In 2002, Judy Harrow, 49, persuaded her parents, then 83 and 78, to sell their house in Albany, N.Y., and move to Richmond. Her motivation was two-fold. First, she wanted to be physically close given their advancing age. Second, she wanted them to bond with their grandchildren. Now, Harrow sees her folks five days a week; her daughters, ages five and four, spend every Saturday night with their grandparents. Says Harrow, "It's comforting to hear my mother's voice and know that she's a 10-minute drive away, if, God forbid, something happened. I'm here to help--and help quickly."

Homeward bound

To some people, these arrangements may sound too close for comfort. But experts say that for a growing number of Americans--whether they're first-time parents relocating to their hometowns or retirees eschewing the sunbelt to be near their adult children and grandchildren--living in proximity to extended family is becoming more popular and is enriching their lives. What's more, the number of households with three generations under one roof has doubled in the past two decades, according to the most recent Census.

"Once you have a child, there's a need to be connected to your family of origin, especially if you have a good relationship with them," says Catherine Marshall Bean, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Philadelphia who specializes in intergenerational issues. "It's life coming full circle."

As for grandparents, a recent study by AARP found that 80 percent of adults over age 45 think it's important to live near their children and grandchildren. "Grandparents today are healthier and more active than previous generations were," says Amy Goyer, coordinator of the AARP Grandparent Information Center in Washington, D.C. "They have extra years to spend, and they're ready, willing and able to do things with their grandchildren."

Of course, it wasn't so long ago that multi-generational families stayed physically close simply because folks stayed in their hometowns. But in the latter part of the 20th century, family ties were stretched as women entered the workforce en masse and people relocated for better economic opportunities. "In some ways, this is a return to the traditional way of American settlement patterns," explains Kenneth Johnson, Ph.D., a demographer and professor of sociology at Loyola University-Chicago. "We might argue that what we saw at the end of the 20th century was an exception, not the rule."

Making a smooth move

For many people, the benefits of living near extended family, including helping hands and emotional support, outweigh the obvious drawback of a loss of privacy that comes from proximity and exposure. You may become privy to aspects of your parents' life that you'd rather not know (such as they're still bickering about things they bickered about when you were young). Likewise, they may see both your marriage and your spouse in a different light, now that their view is up-close and frequent, rather than at a distance and through the filter of holiday gatherings.

If you're moving to be closer to family, here are seven strategies to help you make it work.

Be realistic. "Family history won’t be rewritten, simply because you've had a baby and moved home or because your parents have retired and moved to your town," Bean cautions. "Problems from the past don't necessarily change over time."

That's why it's crucial to do some serious soul-searching before you put the "For Sale" sign on your front lawn. By assessing the state of your relationships, you'll be able to decide whether you can handle any lingering interpersonal difficulties from close range. "It's possible that you're at a place in your adult life where you're okay with certain underlying issues," Bean says. "But if those issues still cause the same level of reactivity, you might want to rethink the decision to move near family."

Anticipate an adjustment phase. Moving is stressful--and often puts people on emotional high-alert. After all, it's frustrating and time-consuming to establish a new home, find a network of service-providers and develop a social circle. Just ask Harrow. "When my parents moved, it was overwhelming at first," she admits. "We helped them get settled in their new apartment and helped them find a doctor, dentist, and hairdresser. But once that phase was over, we settled into a comfortable routine."

Set appropriate boundaries. Is it okay to drop by unannounced? Or call at any hour of the day? Is it understood that your parents will babysit every Saturday night? Or should you book them weeks in advance? These and other potentially sticky issues should be addressed upfront to avoid misunderstandings, Goyer says.

Spend time alone together. "Your relationship with your parents or adult children cannot be based solely on the grandchildren and their activities," Bean advises. "Make time for each other that does not include the grandchildren, so that the parent-adult child bond stays strong."

Ann Marie Hayes, who moved from Arizona to her hometown of Chicago in 2000 following the birth of her first child, agrees. At least twice a month, Hayes and her mother have lunch, go shopping or see a movie by themselves. "If the children are there, you get distracted because all the conversations include them, and one of them is always interrupting," says Hayes, 34, an advertising sales executive. "When my mother and I are alone, we talk about anything and everything--just like you would with your best friend."

Show appreciation. Once you're living nearby, it's easy to take for granted the favors large and small that you do for each other, so Bean recommends showing appreciation in tangible ways. Toni Kayumi, a 40-year-old marketing manager in Fort Wayne, Indiana, does just that for her parents, who moved to Indiana from Harrisburg, PA, when they retired in 1999. Since her mother handles her clothing alterations and her father takes care of her house repairs, Kayumi treats them to concerts, plays, and sporting events.

Expect change. "Relationships aren't static--they’re ever-changing," Bean points out. Indeed, the dynamic that's present immediately following your relocation won't be the same six months, a year, or even a few years later. Relationships will evolve as a result of the natural aging process, the ages and number of grandchildren, and changes in career or marital status.

Choose your battles carefully. Though communication is key to any successful relationship, sometimes silence can be golden. Miche Bacher, 36, who lives in the same town as her retired in-laws, lets comments and behaviors slide, so long as they don't invade her privacy or parenting. "What may seem trivial to one may be the utmost importance to the other," says Bacher, a massage therapist and mother of two in Greenport, N.Y. "Listen to each other--and keep an extra helping of patience in the cookie jar."

I've been back in the Philadelphia area for two years, and like all families who live in proximity, we have great days, good days, and difficult days. But the great days of shared simple pleasures have made the move worthwhile. I love seeing my parents beam with pride as I pull into their driveway and they rush to my car, eager to embrace Eric and begin another day's adventure. I'm filled with joy, knowing that I've given Eric a set of doting grandparents and that I've given my parents a loving grandson--two priceless gifts that have strengthened our bond. For now, I'm right where I belong.

Freelance writer Cynthia Hanson is decades away from retirement, but she already knows where she wants to spend her golden years: In the same town as her son.