One morning last summer, my husband asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner that night. It wasn't an unusual question, given that Aaron is the cook in our family, but my indecisive response was anything but typical. "I don't know," I said. "I don't feel like anything in particular."

Aaron rattled off an array of options--shrimp risotto with feta cheese, chicken parmesan, grilled salmon, Cajun pasta--but none tempted my tastebuds. And then it hit me. "We're in a food rut," I said. "When was the last time we tried a new recipe?"

For the past 12 years, Aaron and I had been eating the same meals for dinner night after night, weekend after weekend, and nearly everything in our menu rotation had lost its appeal. That night, we ordered a pizza.

Bumps in the road of life

Along the journey of life, we're destined to fall into some ruts. Sometimes, they're big (think career change). Other times, they're small (think new exercise routine). Either way, experts say it's inevitable that we'll become bored with one or more facets of our lives.

"As human beings, we made it through the process of evolution because we're flexible and adaptable, so we are wired for change," says Shelley Weiss Cohen, a life coach in Northfield, Illinois, who works with people to make changes in their personal or professional lives. "When we're in a rut, it's another way of saying that we're not experiencing enough change or variety. A rut results when we get into a fixed way or pattern of doing things that, over time, becomes dull or tedious. We may ask ourselves, Why am I doing this? Do even I want to do this? Why isn't this working for me anymore?"

Mid-life is the most common time to slip into ruts. By then, the "newness" has worn off our careers, romantic partnerships, and friendships, and we've pursued our hobbies for years, if not decades. Patt Osborne, a life coach in Medford Lakes, N.J., says that once we recognize a rut, we may become immobilized out of fear of change. "It can be easier to stay with what feels familiar, rather than take the initiative to make adjustments," says Osborne. "However, if you face your fears, experiment with new approaches, and then take consistent action, no matter how small the steps, you will feel a sense of empowerment and increase your confidence."

Sometimes, we operate on cruise control without realizing it. Just ask Wendi Berkowitz and John Tennant who followed this weekend drill for almost 10 years: On Friday night, the San Francisco lawyers ate a quick meal and rented a movie; on Saturday, they started chores and saw friends; and on Sunday, after they finished their chores, they took a walk. But in 2002, Tennant, 41, won a Fulbright scholarship to study in France, and during the couple's six-month stint abroad, they decided that weekends were meant for more than the mundane.

"One weekend a month, we traveled from Paris to Normandy, Provence, and Bordeaux, among other places," says Berkowitz, a 40-year-old corporate litigator. "We had such a great time that when we got home, we turned to each other and said, 'Why don't we take weekend trips here?'" They do now--a drive to Napa Valley one month, a flight to Los Angeles the next. "We return from these mini-vacations feeling relaxed and more excited about our lives," she says. "On the weekends we're home, we look for interesting things to do, like attend a film festival or see live jazz."

When hobbies become habits

Hobbies are another area that's ripe for ruts. Not only can we lose interest if we do the same things over and over, but life also can interfere--to the point where we neglect what once brought us happiness. That was true for Dennis Mook, 53, of Newport News, Virginia. Though photography had been his creative passion since college, he'd become so consumed with his job as chief of the Newport News Police Department that he didn't have time for it. Then in 2002, Mook challenged himself to create one photo each week that was interesting enough to email to friends and post on his website. He logged five hours a week behind the lens, snapping pictures on his commute and lunch breaks, and then he spent an hour on Sunday drafting a narrative about the picture and preparing it for distribution.

"The project forced me to experiment with subject matter," says Mook, now a management consultant. "Before, I mainly focused on landscapes and railroad steam engines. Now I take more close-ups, informal portraits, and everyday scenes. I started seeing old objects in new ways."

Sometimes, we need to see old friends in new lights, too. "You know you're in a friendship rut when getting together feels more like an obligation than a joy," explains Marla Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis. "A friendship develops certain habits, such as what you do together and what you talk about. If you're always doing the same thing and talking about the same thing, your dates can feel stale, even though you still care about your friend."

To keep friendships fresh, Paul recommends building new histories together, whether it's learning yoga or attending a lecture. She knows this firsthand. Throughout most of their eight-year friendship, Paul and a friend took weekly classes--including one in pet telepathy--and those common experiences fueled discussions beyond families and work. Lately, the pair had lapsed into a pattern of monthly lunches, and when her friend suggested that they sign up for a women's drumming class, Paul readily agreed. As she points out, "We needed to give our friendship a chance to grow again."

Finding an escape route

What does it take to escape a rut? A combination of self-awareness, strategic planning, and perseverance. "There's an old coaching mantra that says, 'Nothing changes until something changes,'" Cohen says. "Talking about change isn't enough, and thinking differently isn't enough, either." Here are five tips for
finding your way out.

Look inward. Some people may have a eureka moment that pinpoints their rut, but others will need to do some soul-searching. "Ask yourself, 'If I could change anything I wanted about my life, how would it be different?'" Cohen suggests."Think it through, and then put your response in writing. By translating our thoughts onto paper, we engage in a deeper level of concentration, resulting in more effective processing."

Take a time-out. "Often, you gain a fresh perspective by taking a break from the very activity that's driven you into a rut," Cohen explains. "If you stood next to a boulder and someone asked you to describe it, you couldn't answer with much detail. But if you stood back 20 feet, you'd see the size, shape, color, and texture. It's the same with a rut. If you drop the hobby for a while, you'll see it through fresher eyes and be better equipped to find a solution."

Create a road map and follow it. After you've identified a goal, it's time to set a strategy to reach it. First, gather the necessary information to make the desired change--in Aaron's case, that meant buying new cookbooks and food magazines for inspiration, but someone in a diet rut might research weight-loss programs or someone in a career rut might network for job leads. Then, put yourself on a time-table that's realistic.

Mook's ability to stick to a strict schedule was the key to his successful project. But Aaron rediscovered his inner Emeril through a more laid-back approach. One night a week, Aaron devotes several hours to selecting new recipes, but he experiments in the kitchen just two weekends per month--producing enough new dishes to add variety to our diet, but not working so hard that it's become a chore. As Osborne cautions, "If you try to pull yourself out of a rut in a way that's too disciplined, you may fall into another one. Pay attention to your intuition and find a pace that feels comfortable."

Stay fresh. Avoid ruts by adding variety to your life and pushing yourself in different directions. This year, Mook is concentrating on black-and-white photography. "Shooting in black-and-white is more difficult than shooting in color," says Mook, who completed Photo-a-Week projects in 2002 and 2004. "I'm looking forward to the creative stretch."

Get a pro's perspective. If you're feeling a general malaise, a life coach can help you determine what's wrong and devise an exit strategy. But if you're dissatisfied with a single aspect of life--work, exercise routine, or appearance--consult an expert in that area. A career counselor, personal trainer, or image consultant can offer guidance as you develop a game plan and support as you put it into practice.

And what of the old way of doing things? Actually, a little distance can make the old seem new again. Last weekend, for the first time in six months, Aaron prepared shrimp risotto with feta cheese, which reminded us why the entree had become a mainstay in our diet. So now our old favorite has resumed its rightful place in our menu rotation--albeit on a limited basis. We'd hate to tire of it again.

Cynthia Hanson is a freelance writer in the Philadelphia area. She revved up her exercise routine to compensate for the extra calories she's consuming now that she's out of her food rut.