Throughout his 16-year career as a sales manager for broadcasting companies, John Viola received dozens of great performance appraisals--none of which he remembers in vivid detail. What he remembers instead are the negative ones from bosses who didn't play fair.

"More than one senior executive has manipulated the facts and surprised me with unwarranted criticism," says Viola, 39, now chief operating officer of Gameday Giveaway, Inc., a Chicago-based promotional products, apparel, and sports marketing company. "In my very first meeting with a new boss, he criticized every aspect of my department, took personal shots at me, and threatened my position without having worked with me for even a week."

Fear and loathing of evaluations
That the negative appraisals left a lasting impression on Viola underscores how difficult the process can be. But in most corporations, performance appraisals are mandatory--and at best, they're inherently uncomfortable for both sides. At worst, they're downright contentious, particularly when managers "surprise" employees with criticism of something that occurred months earlier.

Psychologically speaking, what's going on for the boss and the subordinate? Many managers loathe writing and delivering a formal evaluation, as they consider it a bureaucratic burden and fear that subordinates will overreact to even mild criticism.

"While it is important that managers give honest and direct feedback, they often fear compromising the quality of the relationship with their employees, hurting the individual's feelings, and decreasing morale," explains Larina Kase, Psy.D., president of Performance and Success Coaching in Philadelphia. "Plus, managers sometimes doubt their own leadership abilities and wonder, 'Who am I to give this feedback?' It's also common for managers to dislike the appraisal where almost everything is positive, because they worry that their employees will then slack off--or think they are pushovers for going so easy on them."

Meanwhile, people dread being judged. "Because many employers are not the best about giving regular feedback, employees are often unsure what to expect, and the fear of the unknown is difficult," Kase says. "There is often a good deal riding on these evaluations, so that adds pressure."

From slacker to shining star
Indeed, many companies use appraisals to measure and enhance workers' performance; determine salary increases, bonuses, and promotions; or terminate slackers. Other organizations require them, yet place little stock in them. As a result, the process can become an irrelevant drudgery for managers (who give the evaluations short shrift) and employees (who ignore the feedback). If that's the case, why bother with evaluations at all?

"Because managers have an ethical obligation to tell employees what they expect and whether the're meeting those expectations," says Dick Grote, author of The Performance Appraisal Question and Answer Book: A Survival Guide for Managers.

Anna Belyaev, founder of Type A Learning Agency, a Chicago firm that creates e-learning campaigns, courses, and communities for corporations nationwide, agrees. Five years ago, Belyaev was baffled by the poor performance of a project manager who had the potential to be a star employee, but lacked focus, made careless mistakes, arrived late, and had exhibited low productivity.

"Sometimes, it's very clear what the performance barrier is, but other times, it isn't," says Belyaev. During the appraisal meeting, Belyaev outlined the woman's shortcomings and told her that they were grounds for dismissal. But she also expressed faith in her and asked her to go home and take a hard look at what was preventing her from achieving her potential.

"The next day, the employee admitted that she was suffering from performance anxiety," Belyaev recalls. "She said she was paralyzed by her fear of making a mistake, and she felt she had to be perfect. I told her that for someone with her capabilities, I'd be more worried if she weren't making mistakes. And I said, 'The worst that's going to happen is I'll say the work is crummy, and you'll redo it--or do it better the next time.'"

The result? Freed of her anxiety, the woman could concentrate and take risks; she eventually turned out to be one of Type A's best employees. Says Belyaev: "In the face of honesty and clarity, she was able to change."

Making appraisals pleasant and productive
Unfortunately, not all bosses are as fair-minded as Belyaev--and not all appraisal processes are as effective, either. Still, since reviews are a fact of work, it's in your best interest to try to make them less anxiety-provoking and more meaningful. How so? By adjusting your attitude and approach. Here are tips for folks on both sides of the performance-appraisal divide:

If you're a manager:

Put a positive focus on the process. Several weeks before the appraisal is due, ask subordinates to prepare a list of their top accomplishments over the past year--things you should know when you write their reviews. By doing so, you'll remove the negative focus that often casts a long shadow on the process.

Plus, you won't overlook an employee's achievement. "There's probably nothing more embarrassing for a manager than to write up an appraisal and have the employee say, 'But you didn't mention the project I did last November,'" says Grote, a Dallas-based consultant who helps corporations create performance-management systems. "The employee will never forget the manager's oversight, and the oversight will forever compromise the manager's credibility."

Let employees review the appraisal in private. "An hour before the meeting, hand your employee the written appraisal, and ask him to read it and write down his comments or questions," Grote advises. "This allows the employee to digest the information and prepare for the discussion, rather than speed through it during the meeting and react on the spur of the moment."

And what if, in spite of having time to absorb the appraisal, the employee dissolves into tears, becomes defensive, or flies into a rage? "For a crying employee, you can say, 'I see it is very important to you to do well, and I really appreciate that. Would you be willing to work together to make that happen?'" Kase suggests. "A good way to diffuse a defensive response is to give specific, concrete behavioral examples. If the employee is having a strong emotional reaction and not hearing your feedback, schedule a follow-up session to discuss it when he is feeling calmer."

Stick to facts. For an appraisal to be fair and effective, it must be grounded in facts and examples about the employee's work performance, not your personal feelings about her. "The real question is, 'Did the employee meet the expectations for the job?'" Belyaev says. "To get the answer, systems that track performance and provide data should be in place. If you solicit feedback from customers, and the feedback varies, you can say to an employee, 'Your colleagues have an average customer satisfaction rating of 4.7, but yours is 3.4 That's something we need to discuss.' Without the data, these conversations are difficult--and fuzzy."

Be direct. Whether it's praise or criticism, feedback always should be specific. If it's too vague--e.g., "Your reports could be better"--the employee won't fully understand what she's done right or wrong. So provide precise examples about what you like ("I appreciate your working weekends to meet the tight deadline for our new client") and don't like ("It's unacceptable to submit expense reports two months late"). And give detailed instructions for improvement.

Establish a maintenance program. "If a manager doesn't offer regular feedback, the appraisal process becomes overwhelming and counterproductive," Viola says. "Good people want to do a good job, but they need feedback, both positive and negative, to stay on track."

Mini-appraisals--weekly, monthly, or quarterly--keep the lines of communication open, prevent surprises during the annual evaluation, and raise the level of employees' performance, which is a direct reflection on your effectiveness as a manager.

If you're an employee:

Do your homework. Go into the session with talking points about where you've excelled and where you've been weak, even if self-assessments aren't part of the appraisal system. "Proactively saying, 'I have struggled on this account and want to improve my sales skills' will come across very well to your manager and make her want to help you," Kase explains.

Stay positive. Instead of viewing the appraisal as white-collar combat and entering the room with your verbal guns drawn, think of it as an opportunity to learn how you're viewed in the company, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and what you must do to reach your goals. Be pleasant, professional, and prepared to ask specific questions, such as, "How can I show you that I've improved in ABC area?" or "What can I do to earn a raise?" And by all means, don't hesitate to request specific resources (more training, perhaps) to help you succeed.

Retain composure. Try not to cry or become defensive. If you do, the discussion will revolve around your reaction--not the steps you must take to improve. "Recognize whether your boss is giving you helpful criticism or whether he is being overly critical or malicious," Kase recommends. "If it is the latter, do your best to remove yourself emotionally from the situation and let the criticism roll off you. If your boss is reasonable and has some helpful pointers, remind yourself that your boss' purpose is to help you perform your best."

Solicit feedback. If you don't already have monthly one-on-ones with your manager, ask for them. "Managers appreciate employees who are willing to outline what they're doing and how they're doing it," Viola explains. "They make the manager feel confident, because they're not hiding anything." Plus, it's a way to elicit ongoing feedback from your boss--and make the necessary mid-course corrections before your next appraisal.

As for John Viola, he practices what he preaches: Each week, he meets individually with his seven direct reports at Gameday Giveaway, reviewing their work and keeping them focused on continuous improvement. And he still gets evaluations, only now they're from his wife, Mylinda Viola, the company's CEO.

Says John Viola: "Mylinda and I push each other through an honest and direct appraisal process, but at the end of the day, I can honestly say that I love my boss."

Cynthia Hanson, a freelance writer in the Philadelphia area, loathed the performance appraisal process when she worked as a newspaper reporter early in her career.